Great Almosts
“Have you ever gotten everything you ever wanted? - no but one time I got close”
I found myself deep in the rabbit hole of this poem. A very simple yet complex line that I find deeply touching.
“Almost” seems to be a pretty common theme among most people, especially during the trial and error years. The “could have, should have, would have beens” find their way into conversation quite often and sometimes get me thinking about my own “almosts” and their residual lessons. Some I wish had surpassed the “pending” category and some I am incredibly grateful came and went before they had the change to be cemented in my life.
It starts in the daydreaming phase. Something I think most of us are familiar with, dreaming up scenarios for our life as if success was a given. Maybe it’s about a dream job, healthy relationships, travels, a beautiful home full of people we love, or just a general sense of peace and prosperity. I know I for one have been a chronic daydreamer for as long as I can remember. I have compounded on these somewhat make believe, yet very vivid scenes in my head like i’m writing a TV show based on the true story that is or hopefully will become my life. Some days the dreams are so vivid I can almost reach out and touch them—success, love, understanding and then “the lamp starts to look a little funny” as they say.
“Great almosts” can apply to a lot of situations and I find myself using the term quite often during these 20 something year old trials and tribulations as we all move in and out of potential jobs, relationships, cities and find that what we wanted may not actually be what’s for us.
An inquiry I got for a dream creative project, ghosted me after an awesome initial conversation - a great almost.
Casually fading out with the guy I went on a hand full of dates with that was pretty much perfect on paper - a great almost
The borderline crazy ideas for art projects and short films spitballed with fellow creatives that were never actually executed - lots of great almosts
The former best friend I fell in love with while traveling the world together - a really great almost
The list goes on and on and I could tell you about a number of almosts I have watched my friends experience too. Divorces, weddings called off, pregnancies lost, houses sold in relationship splits, adoptions falling through, dream jobs not living up to the expectation, so on and so forth.
You see, all of these things felt incredible in the moments they were transpiring. However, they were never quite “it”, yanno? Because if they were “it” they wouldn’t have been almosts. This is a pretty BIG life lesson I have unfortunately had to learn more than once and it really only started to click recently.
What is for you will never ever pass you by.
That one guy I dated for a summer a few years ago who was the perfect gentleman, smart, funny, kind, and then just kinda fell off naturally… On paper, he checked every box. But something wasn’t connecting and at the time I didn’t fully grasp why it didn’t feel as right as it sounded in writing. Fast forward a few years, we’re still friends. He is now dating someone that is essentially him in girl form and I have never seen two people so naturally synced in my life. Had we forced our almost, he wouldn’t have had the chance to meet her.
The ideal creative project inquiry that ghosted me, ended up leaving that date allowing me to extend a trip to Europe where one of the most meaningful photo projects of my life transpired. Had I gotten that job, maybe I wouldn’t have been in Greece at the right time to cross paths and have the conversations that inspired some of my life’s greatest work.
Almosts are almosts for a reason.
There is a reason for everyhting, and I really do mean everything. Hind sight is 20/20 and I personally am trying to be better about having faith in that sentiment. Relinquishing the things that aren’t quite clicking a little faster and trusting that what’s for me will stay or circle back when it’s time. No matter how often we remind ourselves on this law of life, it’s a really hard one to practice sometimes. Especially when you get excited about that daydream all built up in your head.
I have come really close more than a few times in more than a few capacities.
I have also had many dreams realized and either taken away by greater forces or given up willingly with the realization that “everything I ever wanted” wasn’t always in my highest or best interest.
Of course there are freak accidents and exceptions to every rule. You can never really make a blanket statement when discussing the human condition. But the fact of the matter is no matter where your almost falls on the spectrum from surface level to tragic. Every. single. thing. happens for a reason. Our perspective on that and how or if we choose to accept that is what dictates what comes after the loss.
Either great realization and what the authors like to call character development, or “stuck-ness” for lack of a better term.
If you are someone who like me, relates to that poem, I’ll just say this: sit with it. Visualize that “could have been” thank it for the purpose and space it held in your life, the lessons it taught you and then let it go. Because no matter how close you got, nothing that is for you, will ever pass you by.
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MS
